Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
