I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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