So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize