You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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