HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
