You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize