It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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