and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think your dad took our porno
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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