I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
