shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
