Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
