a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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