Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
