Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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