She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize