Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
