You really coming over, don't trick.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
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I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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