i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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