just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
