We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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