I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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