i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
