I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize