Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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