if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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