I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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