i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
