even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm sobbing to NWA
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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