I cannot find my penis.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
