I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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