you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
and she was petting her beer can
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
