GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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