Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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