why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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