What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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