Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
