Man, jail baloney is awful.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
