I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
