i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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