i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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