Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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