When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
