he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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