They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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