Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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