You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
