Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I think your dad took our porno
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize