i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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