I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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