Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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