So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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