So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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