i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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