You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
honey bunches of taint.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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