Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
