porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She's the barista slut.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
