It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
this hospital has no fireball
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
