my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
