first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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