The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
